Life as I know it.

morganmcrae:

Ahem,

Last night, I cut my finger.  Last night I sliced my skin.  It bled for at least one half of an entire hour, and yet I was unaffected.  Danny said that I should make sure and wash it thoroughly, use iodine and then wrap it (applying pressure) with a bandage, and to make sure and use Neosporin to keep the wound clean.  I’m so lucky to have Danny around to make sure my wounds do not become infected.  The bandage is white and secured tightly around my right thumb.  From a distance, it looks as though my hand is attached to a marshmallow.  However, I must warn anyone who reads this; some marshmallows are better left unconsumed.  For if one were to bite into my thumb, they would surely be disappointed by the lack of sweetness overall.  I do believe their mouth would be flooded with an “irony” or “ironic,” (“iron-like”) taste.  Also, the flesh would be difficult to chew, and even harder to swallow.  I feel like I have exhausted this point.  Nonetheless, thanks Danny for your kind and tender care.

As usual, I am in Earth Science class with not a lot to do.  My marshmallow thumb (it all seems to come back to the M.T.) is furiously hitting upon my space bar.  I’m sure my space bar appreciates the extra padding.  Also, since I can’t put too much suddon pressure on my M.T. I must strike the button gingerly, so as not to further damage my body.  Honestly, the space bar seems absolutely smitten with its newfound lack of pressure.  I digress.  Our Earth Science teacher is talking about the intake of oxygen, and evolution.  I find it a bit funny that they woulud teach evolution at a Catholic Institution.  I believe in evolution, PLEASE don’t get me wrong.  Its just funny

So, good news.  No monkey ever fucked out a human.  So, that’s good.  Apparently, we are some glorified fish, that crawled out of the pond (or lake, whatever) and sprouted some legs.  Then, the amphibians didn’t want to have to give birth in a pond anymore, so one of them was like, “Hey Bill, let’s just create some little circles and put our babies in there.  Then, it’ll just be like their in the water, except they will be contained in a hard outer shell,” to which the other amphibious creature replied, “Yes.  That sounds like a plan.  Let me just evolve a bit and shit out some eggs!”  Thus, the age of the reptiles was beginning.  Then, there were humans… or something like that.

My thumb doth dance free.

It assures plastic space bars,

that it is gentle.

Well, this is perhaps the most useless compilation of reading material ever to be put in cyberspace.  Thanks, the two of you (or whatever) for reading.  Of course, had I said any of this out loud, you should have told me to quiet my flapping mouth.  Since it is in digital print, it is much more interesting right?

Update on Danny:  He is browsing facebook.com, reading everyone’s statuses (statusi), just so he knows how everyone is doing.  I’m a bit scared that Danny looks at my profile every night before he sleeps.  Something just gives me the sinking feeling that this has been going on for a while now.  Like I’m being watched at about 3:00 AM. Anyways, I might confront him about it tomorrow.

Wash your hands.

Morgan is probably the only person I know that can write an entire page about a damn papercut. Fuck.